Friends in Musical Places...

Last night, I was lying in my bed trying to go to sleep. I was having trouble sleeping and getting my mind to shut up, and it didn't help that I was already mildly depressed. So what does my dumb butt do? I cue up cello music. Yeah, the sorrowful (#TwoSetViolin), soulful cello music, trying to ease my mind and relax my thoughts. Boy, did that ever backfire! That was probably the dumbest thing I could have done. Not only did I end up more depressed, but I ended up in full-on sobbing. My pillow was fully dampened.

Why? It wasn't the music or the person playing it. I was watching Hauser from #2Cellos playing a full orchestral concert. He wasn't playing anything particularly sad or emotional. It made me cry because these are the sounds that I hear in my head before I practice, but when I play, that's definitely not what comes out. In the mood I was in, it was just enough to crush my heart and soul... It really hurts to know that what comes out will not be that beautiful. As a beginner, that's one of the biggest struggles I deal with. I know the potential is there, but it's not there yet.

Very shortly after the sob-fest began (yes, I am a wuss and I'll admit it...), I got a chat message from my friend, Abram. He lives in the Philippines, so we're exactly 12 hours apart, but his timing was nothing short of divine. We started with the normal small-talk as he was at work. Of course, I didn't tell him I was crying (hard) while I was talking to him, but we did talk about what was bothering me. I told him I was afraid of failing, of not being able to fulfill my newly-revived dream on cello. I told him I was not sure which instrument I was supposed to make this happen on, as the violin (recently acquired) came much more naturally to me than cello. He understood exactly what I meant when I said the sounds in my head don't come out on my cello. If you're a beginner, you're probably sitting there going, "Oh. my gosh, YES!"

Every time I begin to have doubts, I reach out. I have a few friends that play cello, and many of them have started as adults. Abram, for example, has only been playing about four months. My friend, Casandra, has been playing for several YEARS, and she still has those days that she can't get her cello to sound the way she wants. Cello is an amazing and soul-touching instrument that many people want to play... but it's also one of the most difficult instruments to master, and really, sometimes even the "masters", like Yo-Yo Ma and Hauser, will be the first to tell you they haven't "mastered" it, at all.

MAKE MUSICAL FRIENDS. Find people who can share your experience, and make you feel like you're not alone. You can have the most supportive family in the WORLD, but no matter how much they tell you that you're doing fine, you'll never truly believe it, because they're your family. They're supposed to be supportive... even if they think you sound like nails on a chalkboard. And if they're not musicians, you'll think they just don't know what they're talking about and have no ear, no matter how much you love them. You'll smile and thank them, and know that they mean it with love, but on some level, that will be in the back of your mind.

You need a group of people who have been where you are, who have struggled through the bow magically whining an octave above where it's supposed to be, who have just NOT been able to find that one pitch, who cannot get that fingering right despite having circled the note with the fingering written in big black numbers above it, who have practiced so hard they're about to snap the neck off their cello because they're so tense... find people. In your search, beware! Not all groups are created equal. You'll find cello groups with people who are snobs, people who are "perfect" and laugh at everything you post, people who will tell you you're doing everything wrong. You'll also find groups who are willing to accommodate beginners and even help them along. You'll find people who will listen to videos you post, even when your intonation is atrocious, to tell you that you're bowing is actually good and that, once you get the pitch nailed down, you'll be doing just fine.

Facebook is a good start, but there are other places, too. Ask your cello teacher, if you have one. I've included a couple Facebook groups here. One is strictly cellists. The other is all orchestral strings. You'll have low points in your practice time, but when that happens, reach out and find a friend. And remember...

#celloislife

Happy Cello'ing!

The Apprentice Cellists Club on Facebook --my go-to group for beginner support! https://www.facebook.com/groups/theapprenticecellistsclub/

The Violin Guild --Another good group that's supportive to beginners

https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheViolinGuild/

And particularly for ADULT beginners... The Mid-Life Cellist

https://www.facebook.com/groups/themidlifecellist/

If you know of another great, supportive group, please feel free to join the site and leave a comment! These are just my personal favorites!