It always feels good to get praise from people around us, both musically and non-musically. This is no exception as an adult beginner, no matter what level you're at in your playing or how fast (or slowly) you progress. So even when you know it's not going well, you're always appreciative when someone acknowledges your advancements, no matter how big or small they seem... or even if you think they're a moron who must have absolutely no musical ear. You still smile and say thank you. But more often than not, they're genuine, and it feels good, especially when it's a fellow musician, or even your cello teacher. That feels really good.
This week, fortunately for me, has had a lot of positives in my cello playing. And that seems to be how it goes... good weeks and bad weeks interspersed. A lot. But this week was a good one, and I hope it stays that way for a while! Tuesday, at my lesson, my cello teacher started with Bach Sarabande, and while we had a lot of work to do with dynamics and mood, he listened intently while I played through the piece at the beginning of the lesson. I had been working on vibrato with this particular piece, and I implemented it soundly (that was not an intended pun!), and on the last note, I really laid it on nicely, varying both my speed and intensity closer to the middle of the note, then tapering off at the end. When I finished, he looked at me and said, "Very nice vibrato! Very professional and I don't think there's anything else I can really teach you about that." Ego stroke number 1.
After we worked on dynamics (see my last blog entry... ), we moved on to Schroeder exercise 12, from 170 Foundation Studies for Violoncello, one of my favorite etude books. I'd been working on this one for a while, particularly on the string crossings and loosening my grip on the bow. While it definitely wasn't perfect dynamically, it was a quick pace and it came out better than I'd ever played it before. Once again, when I finished, I sat back, mentally floored, and he looked at me and said, "Wow! That was really good." Ego stroke number 2. After my lesson ended (an hour and a half later), I walked out to my car with my teacher, feeling like I had TRULY accomplished something in my practice, even though it had been sparing due to teenagers and life.
I got home that night, and opened up my e-mail. The night prior, I'd been to a Dennis Parker cello recital and had been talking to my friend, Cheryl, about community orchestras. She said she would find out about one that someone was already in. True to her word, there it was in my email. It had not only the other cellist's information, but it had the orchestra director's contact info as well! So, the next morning, I picked up the phone and contacted both. The other cellist was very helpful and informative, and we talked for at least 30 minutes. I hung up with him and called the orchestra director. He wasn't available, but called me back a couple hours later. We talked for some time about what we both wanted and general conversation about the orchestra. He graciously agreed to send me emails about the orchestra, and samples of the music they were playing so I could discuss it with my teacher. I was on cloud nine when I hung up the phone... until I got the text from my cello teacher saying he didn't think I was ready. Ego DESTRUCTION (dun-dun duuunnnnnnn).... I was crushed, but determined.
Fast forward a couple hours, I got home and got the email from the orchestra director. I opened up the message attachments and everything is in 1st position. I can do this!! So, I bit the bullet and emailed the attachments to my cello teacher, and then I texted him to tell him I'd sent them. I told him that I knew he'd said I wasn't ready, but to take a look and see what he thought of the music and that I thought it was doable, even for me. A bit later that evening, he texted me back, and said, "I think if that's the general level of the music, you can do it. I'd work on it with you." SCORE!! Ego restored to normal!
Okay, great!! I printed out the sheet music and started learning my part the next day. But first, I had a gig to prepare for. Burns Night! It's a celebration of Scottish bard and poet, Robert Burns, and it happens at the end of January. I am part of a Scottish music group and we were invited to play. Great! With one month of preparation, I went in, and learned my improvised part (there's nothing but fiddle music). I packed up the car with my cello, music stand, and cello seat to play for the evening, had a lovely dinner of haggis (it's way better than the description makes it sound) and salmon, with turnips, potatoes, and fruitcake, then got up and we did our section of the gig. I am thrilled to say my solo was in tune, and came off without a hitch! The speaker, who is part of the group as well, made a note to the audience at the end that I had only been playing cello since September and got this together in a month. The applause was hearty and my face was as red as my cello... but a few people also came up after and told me how well I'd done. Ego stroke number 3.
So the night went well, and I can say that the cello'ing is going quite well for me. An added bonus? My daughter, who plays sax (and is picking up bassoon) will also be joining the community orchestra with me, and she's actually EXCITED about it! Ego stroke number 4.
This particular entry isn't about fishing for compliments or seeing how many people you can impress. It's simply that having your playing get noticed when you're still early in the game gives you a good feeling. It's been a struggle for me to forgive my errors and allow myself mistakes as a beginner, because in my mind, I'm already a trained professional on one instrument, so this should be easy. DON'T fall into that trap. I've had to leave all my flute training behind and realize that I'm still a beginner on the cello. But after I got in the truck to come home last night, I looked over at my sister and her husband, who had accompanied me to the event, and said, "Now I feel like I can legitimately call myself a cellist, not just someone who is beginning cello." And that, my friends, is the biggest ego stroke of all!
Happy Cello'ing! #celloislife