When Life Happens...

Over the past ten days, I have been busy taking care of a my soul sister's mother while she's in intensive care for some major health issues that came up very suddenly. My sister has also been sick, although not as seriously, with some issues that keep her from being able to visit her mother in intensive care, so I've been on near-constant watch duty to help her care for her mother. When it first happened, her illness was so severe that she constantly needed someone with her not only during the day, but overnight as well. This, as you can surely imagine, left me very little time for my beloved cello, and that's how it had to be.

There are times that we are forced to be away from our musical companions. This can cause many problems, ranging from mild sadness or depression, to loss of skills and practice time, to all-out quitting, whether it be for days, weeks, or months. So then, what happens next? How do we compensate for this loss? For some people, the cello can be therapeutic, and can improve our mentality and, sometimes, even physical symptoms. So when we have to be away from our beloved instruments, sometimes the consequences can be detrimental to our health as well as our playing.

So, during the time I was not able to play my cello, I couldn't even listen to cello music because hospitals are not conducive to that. After a few days, I really started to notice her absence. The longing became deeper and deeper, to the point that I was going over just to touch my cello before I left. It was that bad. After the fourth day, I forced myself, after a long and tiring day at the hospital, to sit down just for a few minutes and re-connect with my cello.

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I cried... a lot. I cried like a baby. I cried so much I had to wipe the tears off her body... My cello quite literally gave me a shoulder to cry on. I had missed playing THAT bad.

Why??

I think my friend, Ravenlyn, put it in a way that we, as musicians, can relate to. "I needed something to take my mind somewhere else, and this did it in a way nothing else had. I don't think about other things when I'm playing, usually, and if I do, I have the meditation skills to turn back to what I'm doing."

The music, the focus, the playing... it all helps us to free our mind and focus on something other than our distresses and our problems. "I think it's hard to feel angry when you're opening to music, being gentle with yourself when you're learning. It was good for me to not be angry so much of the time," she says. The cello, the music, is an escape for us. So, when I was away, it hurt, quite literally.

So now how do we fix it? For me, simply sitting and playing something as simple as a scale was enough for me to find my heart again. But what about in longer absences? That advice comes from Casandra. "I woke up at like 11 pm with no motivation to practise and just thought 'no. this isn't ok. I can't keep sleeping the day away and then not have time to practise or just choose not to practise. Can't do it anymore.' So I started dragging myself out of bed at a set time and will do so every day , even on free days and do my practise routine, like I used to before I stopped playing for two months (and before that I didn't really play that much either).

This is only day two, so it's still hard, but I feel like in the end this will be much better, both for my playing and just overall. You know? It's time to turn this around."

Our cellos and our music can be a source of great strength for us. When life happens, take time, even if it's just a few minutes, to sit down with your cello. Play a scale, play your favorite piece, play anything... but just PLAY! It may just make your life a little easier pill to swallow.

Happy Cello'ing! #celloislife